This Is The End (What did Jacki K Watch? Day 09)

This is the End Poster

I saw by far the most amazing movie of the summer tonight. And because of how amazing it was this review will contain spoilers. I honestly don’t know how else to talk about this brilliant Action/Comedy/Horror movie. So if you came to my sight for a spoiler free review, I suggest you search else where. You have been warned.

This Is The End opens with Seth Rogen waiting for his fellow Canadian BFF Jay Baruchel at the airport for a weekend of shenanigans in L.A.  Little did Jay know that he would be spending the Apocalypse  at James Franco‘s new house, one of Seth’s newer friends, whom Jay does not care for. If you didn’t know, this film is based around the worst, funniest, and demeaning sides of the actors themselves. They are their own selves but magnified. And I love that concept of the movie, and so should you. Remember how that same concept was applied to that really shitty 2010 summer release of Grown Ups, where it turned into a giant roast between the cast that wasn’t funny or delivered well? Well, 2013’s This Is The End is the best Action/Comedy I have ever seen in my entire life. My face was actually sore after the movie from smiling the whole 107 minutes.

Watching Jay and Seth interact as best friends was not only adorable but engaging as well. You

What the fuck is happening here? Oh fuck, it’s the rapture.

feel like you’re in Rogen’s  apartment and could be smoking a joint with him. Eventually, Rogen suggests that they go to Franco’s to hang out and you can tell that Jay really doesn’t want to go. After some amount of time at the party, Jay want’s Seth to accompany him to a gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes. This is where our first running joke happens (Jay tried to buy a Crush soda, later, two other times, we see anybody but Jay with an orange Fanta) and then windows implod and some people are sucked up into the sky by a blue beam. This is apparently the rapture and not aliens. So put the alien anecdote out of your mind. This Is The End is honestly about the End. Rogen and Evan Goldberg (writers & directors) take about half the movie’s time to finally come to that conclusion, but they effectively do so.

Really, I could have just watched the concept of all the celebrities partying at Franco’s pad as a movie because this shit was crazy amazeballs. It would have been like a roided out, slightly older version of Superbad with none of those silly fake names. But Christopher Mintz-Plasse would still be called McLovin, obviously. That will never die. 

So we get to see Michael Cera be the douchiest version of himself ever and it is absolutely wonderful. He is doing cocaine like it’s going out of business and technically, I suppose it is, with the End of the world happening and all. Watching Rihanna slap the fuck out of him is incredibly satisfying. Do you want to know what else was really satisfying? When all Hell breaks lose and the End of the World finally makes it to Franco’s digs, everyone rushes outside of the house thinking it’s just another earthquake. The ground begins to crack open and Cera is standing right over the area, screaming at the crowd of party goers that somebody stole his phone. Mind you Cera is whacked out (Jay walks in on Cera getting a blow job, while sucking down a Capri Sun, and having another girl snort cocaine out of Cera’s doughnut like ass hole). Shit is insane. So anyways he’s screaming “Where’s my phone you fucks?” (or some deviation of that) and BOOM! Next moment windbreaker-wearing Cera is impaled by a street lamp. But oh it gets better, the pole erects itself again while the ground becomes a sink hole underneath it. And then Cera’s phone rings in his pocket. The scene is priceless. That explanation doesn’t even do it justice. I tried finding you a video of it, or even a gif, but alas, this being opening weekend, there is no such thing yet. So instead I provide this lack luster picture and also a link to a “behind the scenes” segment that shows a portion of it.

(Hey guys, I recently found a gif of a portion of it (9/4/13)

Shit get’s fucked up real fast then. Half of the cast is killed one way or another and all of it is genuinely funny. You see humanity at possibly its worst and yet the actors at their best. All of it is believable and done spectacularly well. Although their are some scenes later on where you honestly feel bad about what your watching. And I know what your thinking, it’s probably the two rapey scenes that made me uncomfortable. No, not really (and I’ll get back to those in a moment). One of the few times I was unhappy during the movie was when a normal citizen tried breaking into Franco’s now barricaded house (the survivors being Jay, James, Seth, a sweaty Craig Robinson, an emotional Jonah Hill, and Danny McBride who’s entrance was done in the most epic of manners) and while the crew is arguing on whether or not they should let him in, his head is some how decapitated. They end up (accidentally) kicking the head around like a soccer ball until Hill says how insensitive they are all being. After Hill pulls focus to how this man was living two minutes ago, it goes back to being funny.

Rape?

Now back to what some people may find insensitive and supporting rape culture? The movie does address the fact that rape may happen in an end of times situation when Jay speaks to the rest of the men about creating a “safe” atmosphere for new survivor Emma Watson/Hermione Granger.  But nothing happens. There’s no reason for people to be getting so upset about it. It’s actually after that, that Hermione, I mean Emma, steals all of their beverages. But about 15 minutes later Jonah Hill is actually raped by a demon from Hell. This is when we find out that Jay is correct in thinking that the book of Revelation is really happening. And that all the actors and actresses were not a part of the rapture (including yes, Granger!). I’m sure there’s some metaphor with how we put celebrities up on a pedestal and how none of them were  “good people” in the Lord’s eye, but I’m not going to get into that. You can come to that conclusion all on your own.

Anyhoo. Jonah asks God to kill Jay because Jonah is sick of trying to be friends with Jay for Seth. Jay also punches Jonah in the face, but you know, spoilers. Satan then retaliates by sending a demon to rape the shit out of Jonah in his sleep. There is then a Rosemary’s Baby reference which makes the scene an obvious joke,  so people need to back the fuck off on their “rape culture” nonsense. Because the demons dick was obtrusively and comically large. Instead of Hill becoming pregnant, he then becomes possessed and the (quarter Jewish) Jay performs an exorcist. And by exorcist I mean he quotes the Old Preacher of The Exorcist.

Shit then gets even crazier.  Eventually our main characters begin to either die, are exiled, or raptured. So, yes  our actors have the ability to become better people and ascend into heaven. I’ll let the movie tell you which ones die, becomes leader of the cannibalistic street worriers, and ascend into heaven. But I’ll let you know, when we (the audience) finally ascend into Heaven, that party is righteous as fuck. And the movie ends on a high note. The best kind of high note.

The movie is by far the most enjoyable experience I have had in a movie theater in years. I’d suggest seeing it with someone who shares the same humor as you, but regardless, it is certified fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. And it’s doing much better than any of its current rivals in theaters. The Purge, Now You See Me, The Internship, and Man of Steel are all currently “rotten.” But I will say there are many moments where you scream at the screen saying something along the lines of “Why aren’t they doing this instead?!” Aside from a few tactile mistakes, the movie delivers. The whole audience was up in laughter throughout the film. The actors do a great job of making you believe that what’s happening on the screen is really happening. There is not a single weak actor at any point. You feel sadness, happiness, and (personally, for me) sweaty palms throughout the film. This “Action/Comedy” also successfully scared me more times than a normal Horror movie would. I think it accomplishes this because you just sit their enjoying the ride and forget that the shit that is happening is fucking SCARY! It’s the End of the World bitches! Shit ain’t supposed to be funny. But it is. Bless them.

This Is The End is based off (or remade from) the 2007 Indie film Jay and Seth versus the Apocalypse. It’s rated R, and for good reason too. This is probably the most I have ever seen dong in a movie. And it’s not just demon or the Devil’s (motherfucker giant) shlong either. There’s also many other phallic art work throughout Franco’s house, along with a pear of tits.  The only pair of tits you’ll see in the whole film too!

Two more things. If you have made it this far into the review you deserve to know that a hell hound eventually attacks/chases Jay and Craig when they’re on a rations hunt. This hell hound looks exactly like Zuul from the Ghostbusters. So that’s cool. Also, I have seen Craig Robinson perform live. It was the first time I heard him play “Take yo panties off,” which they incorporate into the opening party scene. And his shirt. So here’s a picture of that:

Take Yo Panties Off! And Robinson’s in-scripted towel for all of his sweats.

And just for you, I stuck through the credits, and was disappointed, there was nothing at the end credits. Only ushers hastily cleaning the theaters and hating my presence.

This Is The End is also one big movie with maybe one or two mini movies inside of it. Now stop reading this review and go spend that 10 dollars! Because honestly, there is so much more that I could have spoiled for you.