Hi! Welcome to the “choose your boyfriends attitude” app.
Press 1 for understanding, kind, loving boyfriend you signed up for
Press 2 for cranky, just got out of bed boyfriend
Press 3 for horny bastard boyfriend
Press 4 for drunk, horny bastard boyfriend
Press 5 for lovey-dovey, romantic boyfriend
Press 6 for “anything you say to me is going to irritate the hell out of me” boyfriend
Press 7 for “I miss you like hell” boyfriend
Press 8 for quick conversation boyfriend
Press 9 for “I’m gonna be a bitch until I eat food” boyfriend
Press 10 for distracted by video games boyfriend
Press 11 for Best Boyfriend in general about everything you say (11 may only be distributed under *set* amount, use wisely)
Press 12 for SPORTS NUT BOYFRIEND
Press 13 for drunk, argumentative boyfriend
Press 14 for drunk boyfriend
Press 15 for competitive boyfriend
Press star then pound to opt out.
“You have selected number *6, 2, and 9* be prepared for everything you say and do will be irritating the hell out of him, not to mention nothing you say will help.
“STAR POUND STAR POUND!!! MOTHER FUCKER NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo- Hiya babe!”