For some reason, I decided to put myself through the excruciating pain of watching the Titanic (1997) on television. It is 2013 now, and it has probably been a good 15 years since I originally watched it in theaters when I was the ripe age of seven. Looking back, on that first experience I remember that I couldn’t handle that really chaotic scene on the boat when all things turned to shit. The water bursting through the glass ceiling, the captain going down with the ship, the elderly couple laying in bed waiting for their certain fate, and the ship breaking in half. I forced my mother to take me out of the theater “because I had to pee with watching all the water.”
Years later, with a new found love of disaster movies, and I still become squirmish while watching the later half of the movie. By far the movie carries much more meaning now then when I watched it at seven. Considerably more meaning because god knows what seven year old Jacki thought about that sex scene! Really mom and dad, how did you think this movie would be appropriate for a child under the age of 10? Of course the screenplay, cinematography, acting, and scenery are all beautifully done. James Cameron breaks our hearts, even years later, with his magnificent writing and directing. The movie is acclaimed as the most accurate movie depiction of the RMS Titanic’s true story. Well, everything aside from the love story between Jack and Rose.
Of course there is always the classic question about Jack’s heart-wrenching fate. Why couldn’t both of them fit on the damn DOOR!? Well, apparently Cameron has finally identified why Jack had to die an icy death. The door could only hold so much weight without being submerged into water, if both were on the door, both would have slowly died of hypothermia. But if that’s his reply, I still ask you Cameron, the one life boat that returned showed up pretty soon after Jack quietly passed. If both were on that damn door, they would be near death, but they would not have both died then. If they were not submerged in the water completely, wouldn’t the hypothermia set in slower? On a second side note, why didn’t they take turns on the door! Why didn’t Jack tread water around the door to keep his blood flowing? He’s a smart guy. On a separate note, did the asshat Cal really have to live until the great depression? I know there was meaning and symbolism in that decision, but really? REALLY?
And how did the “heart of the ocean” diamond stay in the coat pocket the whole damn time? When Jack and Rose nearly went down with the ship submerged in the ocean. It really should have sank to the bottom of the ocean at that point, if not before. LASTLY. The whole reason you were asked to board that ship/submarine is because they were searching for the blue diamond! You were there to help find the lost jewel. And then you toss it! What a bitch Rose. Geeze. Oh wait one other thing, why take Jack’s last name ‘Dawson” when you enter America, but then get married? You lose the name AND never tell anyone about him. What kind of remembrance is that?
And with that I leave you with this closing remark on Titanic. PULL YOUR SHIT TOGETHER ROSE.