(22 Reasons Why) House at the End of the Street is a Terrible Movie

H@TEOTS

H@TEOTS

Day 2 of BoOctober features House at the End of the Street. A horror thriller currently offered on Netflix. (This is a first time watch.)

1.) Whoa, can we talk about the music at the beginning of this movie? Straight out of Friday the 13th.

2.) So this girl is a modern day Ronald DeFeo Jr.? Real original.

3.) Why would renting go down in a house next to the double homicide house?

4.) Could Lawrence be any more of a party poop? Geeze Why does her character already have to be a sad, emotionless teenager who hates where she moved to, how cliche.

5.) ‘Your parents got killed” why do people always phrase “got killed?” It is the worst phrase ever.

6.) Off course the bat-shit killer daughter is still alive and her older brother is looking after her, and drugs her.

7.) Why would you tell her about the new neighbor? That’s just giving her incentive to go fucking kill her.

8.) Carrie Ann’s parents were drug addicts? Of course, because for a horror movie to be plausible today, some characters have to be hard core drug addicts right?

9.) Well obviously we wouldn’t have a movie if  that murderous bitch Carrie Ann didn’t get out of her locked room and Lawrence didn’t open the back door to check on noises.

10.) Why is Sarah (Elissa’s mom) such a huge bitch? Ohmyfuckinggod

11.) That tree does not look like a face, it looks like a vagina.

12.) Why does Carrie Ann’s brother have a baby monitor in the room that she’s locked up in? You want her to hear you making out with some girl?

13.) Hold up, were they making out to a song that Elissa was supposedly the singer of?

14.) What you accidentally killed your own sister, Ryan? Why would you not have her drop the knife immediately? So um, what exactly is left for the rest of the movie now?

15.) Oh I see, Ryan actually goes to the battle of the bands at the high school and ends up getting beat to shit. Poor guy, he was a nice guy.

16.) Lawrence, why would you go down them creepy stairs, just to reveal that the sister didn’t really die?

17.) What’s with those eyes?  why…… Oh fuck. Whose the girl in the basement? Peggy Johns? Why did Ryan steal a girl from Penn State?

18.) Props to the cop actually pulling out his gun. But he’s still incompetent, how does this always happen?

19.) Okay Lawrence, that dead cop still has a perfectly good radio, why has no body called for back up yet?

20.) Sarah, why would you not arm yourself when you went over there? You’ve been so unsure about the boy this whole time. The fuck you thinking? Don’t matter now, you’re gonna die from loss of blood.

21.) Don’t make so much noise trying to turn on your torch, that’s horror etiquette number one.

22.) House at the End of the Street is a bad movie, and the title is irrelevant. Don’t watch this movie.

 

Bonus reason, it’s a rip off of Sleepaway Camp. Which I will now most likely watch tomorrow.

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3 comments on “(22 Reasons Why) House at the End of the Street is a Terrible Movie

  1. You obviously didn’t understand the love at all. Carrie Ann died on the swing set and th parents forced her brother to pretend to be Carrie Ann utile he got sick of it and killed them then years later he’s mentally damaged from a sick childhood being forced to pretend to e a girl and starts stealing girls and dressing them up and pretending thy are carie ann,as his parents did to him. Te girl in the basement was never Carrie Ann it was Ryan’s stolen girls .

    • No, i did understand it, I was writing the review in real time, as a I watched the movie for the first time. That’s why I crack the Sleepaway Camp in there, because of Sleepaway Camp’s twist ending, have you never seen it?

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