Honest Friday the 13th Movie Posters

Time for another round for Honest Horror Movie Posters! Today we’re focusing on the Friday the 13th Franchise. This is by far my favorite horror franchise, so it was pretty fun. And in all honesty, the original tagline were pretty decent (e.g. Jason X: Evil Gets an Upgrade). But that is not the name of the game. The name of the game is Honest Movie Posters: Friday the 13th Edition. Let’s get to it.

Friday the 13th (1980) 

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Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)2

Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982)3

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)4

Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning (1985)5

Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives (1986)6

Friday the 13th Part 7: New Blood (1988)7

Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)8Jason Goes to Hell (1993)

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Jason X (2001)10

Freddy Vs Jason (2003) 11

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Honest Halloween Posters

Today I tossed on Halloween 3, Season of the Witch. Because the last time I tried watching it I was probably about 14 years old, and waited and waited for Michael to show up. I time before the internet held all answers. Ahh, to be an adolescent in 2004. I was wrong, so, so wrong. But because it was sans Michael Myers I always gave it a bad wrap. But today, I decided to give it a real chance as a pure scary movie, because John and Debra were a time head of themselves. Anthology horror didn’t catch on until the 2000s. But while I queued it up, I thought the poster should have a different tagline, and then I thought hell, let’s make a whole series of Honest Horror Movie Posters. Today is the entire franchise of Halloween. Spoilers in the taglines.

Halloween (1978)

Halloween Honest Movie Poster

Halloween II (1981)

Halloween 2 Honest Movie Poster

Halloween III: Season Of The Witch (1982)

Halloween 3 Honest Movie Poster

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

Halloween 4 Honest Movie Poster

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

Halloween 5 Honest Movie Poster

Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

Halloween 6 Honest Movie Poster

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)

H20 Honest movie Poster

Halloween Resurrection (2002)

Halloween Resurrection Honest Movie Poster

Halloween (2007)

Halloween Remake Honest Poster

Halloween (2009)

Halloween 2 remake Honest poster

Halloween (2018)

Halloween 2018 honest poster

Tragedy Girls (2017) Everything You Want & More for Todays’ Horror Fans

tg postersLast year I heard rumors of a film festival horror movie that I knew I’d enjoy. Two teenage girls obsessed with the macabre who are trying to make it in the blogging world. Whose obsession just so happens to borderline the psychotic. PERFECT! Exactly what I want to watch to get my horror fix in. But dammit I can’t find it on Kodi anywhere. Flash forward a year later, Terrarum is the new Kodi, and Tragedy Girls is finally available to stream.

At this point, I’d forgotten about the movie and the poster artwork had changed online. I did no research aside from reading the short summary and decided to toss it on, hoping that it could be bearable for more than the usual 10 minutes I’d give a no-name horror movie a chance to hold my attention.  And whoo boy did it deliver.

We open with two teenagers making out in a secluded lover’s lane on a bridge reminiscent of My Soul to Take. The blonde girl hears something spooky outside. She literally has to call her date a pussy and tell him to man up to do the horror cliche thing and go check on the spooky noises. Because for once it seems like you have a smart character in a horror movie. It doesn’t take but a mere minute for the poor boy from being stiff to being A stiff, as the Killer emerges and takes care of business.

tragedy girls

The Killer chases the young girl screaming through the woods, you assume, she will be an easy next, but this isn’t your typical horror movie. A trap is set, but it’s not BY the Killer, it is FOR the Killer. The blonde captures the Michael Myers knockoff with her best friend who emerges from the dark. And then, as they cut to black and open on the tied up Killer, bombard him with questions, and then finish off his dirty work on the blonde’s date, you realize, this movie is so much more than your typical slasher flick.

Brianna Hildebrand (also known as Negasonic Teenage Warhead) plays Sadie Cunningham (named after horror director Sean Cunningham, of Friday the 13th‘s fame)  and Alexandra Shipp (also a character in the Marvel universe as a young Storm) plays her best friend McKayla Hooper (named after Tobe Hooper of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Poltergeist fame) who grew up together and have a pretty sick hobby in common, their online personalities known as The Tragedy Girls who consider themselves small-town detectives of their local serial killer (seen above).

At first, you believe okay, they’re just putting the first boy toy out of his misery, but soon, as they attempt to murder Alexandra’s moony ex-boyfriend (played perfectly satirical by an uncredited Josh Hutcherson) and frame the serial killer they just kidnapped in the process you come to the conclusion, this is the best final girl movie twist that you could have ever since Cabin in the WoodsTG killers

Not only are there nods to all the great slasher films, but even at moments you think they’ll pull a Carrie, and then you’re like nope this is more Prom Night, they shock you all over again. Much of Tragedy Girls can seem trite or predictable, from the upcoming kills and who they victimize, but it’s wrapped up in such a wonderful candy covered exterior, that you don’t even mind. If you’re looking for a fun slash film that you and your horror friends can giggle at, adore, and try to guess the next gory scene, the familiarity but newness of Tragedy Girls is the perfect film for you.

The cast is marvelous, the writing makes the over-used horror cliches fun, and the overall cinematography is fun and hard to peel your eyes away from. I give it a full 5 eyes of attention span and highly suggest you give this fun movie a run for its money.

5 out of 5

Better Watch Out: A Twist on Christmas Invasion

bettter watch out movie posterBetter Watch Out is a little gem available on Amazon Prime for a buck to rent that I decided to try out on Christmas day. With the marketing material, it would seem that this would be the perfect new horror movie to watch on the holiday, but it is a bit misleading. Aside from the house being decked out with Christmas decorations, and a slight bit of tension with some outside decorations falling at an inopportune moment, it doesn’t live up to it’s Christmas scene. Which is disappointing but not terrible because the film still delivers. Continue reading

Hell House LLC Delivers a Decent Found Footage Experience

Hell House LLCAmazon Prime is a great resource for shopping and a few shows and movies here and there. But in my personal experience, I have had just the worst luck with horror movies. I mean the ones you rent or buy are fine, but the Horror Prime selection has always been weak with a difficult rating system to follow. Do their star ratings go off of your previous habits, off of other people with similar taste, and why can’t I rate an item after watching it anymore? So when trying to find a new horror film after exhausting curated lists online of what movies to watch on what streaming site, I tend to go for a film that is rated 3.5 stars or more on Prime for my horror addition.

It proved a worthy system this weekend with a 2/3 success rate. I binged on Dead Body (winner), Red Christmas (loser), which then suggested All Through the House (a major loser as I stopped after about 10 minutes, that tit stab in the shower was where I ended), and then went searching again and found the lovely Hell House LLC. Which is what we will talk about today. It is, by all means, an Indie horror film that was released in 2015 but also screened in 2016 by some outlets.  Continue reading

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them Continues the Magic

 

Fantastic beasts.png

Hi All, I’m the Tall One geeking out with my BFF

Harry Potter and the Fantastic Beasts….. Excuse me, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, opens up with a familiar tune and then an explosion! Many of its audience returning to learn more about the Harry Potter world we’ve all loved and have adored for more than a decade now, some members might even be new to the magical world, but regardless of your familiarity with the Harry Potter world, you won’t be disappointed.

 

Fantastic Beasts delivers on fun, magic, and the same childish wonderment that the very first film, The Sorcerer’s Stone, instilled in both youths and adults. What is extra-wonderful about the film and this new extension of the beautiful universe that JK Rowling delivered to us nearly 20 years ago, is that it takes place long before Harry and his Parents. It begins in 1926 with a demolished building in New York, New York. Yes, that’s right, if you didn’t know, this first installment in the extended universe (which rumors claim their will be 5 story-lines through 19 years) takes place in America. And it is a breath of fresh air.

It is an easy claim, that there are Harry Potter lovers throughout the world, and to get a glimpse (glimpse being a full-length feature film!) of the magical universe in different parts of the world is well-deserved.

eddie

Our lead Newt

After the explosion we move into the classic moving headlines/picture format of what is going on in the American Wizarding World. Preparing us for the new information about the different culture that we (the audience) have been salivating for. After the opening credits, we land on Newt Scamander, a name many will recognize as the author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, a book that every wizarding family should own. A worthy endorsement by Albus Dumbledore.

Newt (Eddie Redmayne) is our first lead protagonist that came from House Hufflepuff (badger house), he is a kind soul who just wants to save all magical creatures out there, and “politely educate” his fellow magic folk, as he claims while explaining his reason for traveling state-side. Yes, that means that these magnificent, magical creatures are not just confined to the UK, and this also means that many (absolutely breath-taking) creatures are indigenous to certain areas, much like our no-maj animals. Oh what is “no-maj” you ask? It’s is American slang for non-magic folk. So its our term for muggles!

Fantastic Beasts

Some of the Fantastic Beasts, Nibbler is my favorite (second from the left). He’s adorable and he steals shiny things.

Eventually a few of Newt’s beautiful, scary, and chalk full of personality, beasts escape his magical suitcase. An American witch, Tina Goldstein (Katherine Waterston), tries to detain Newt for not registering his wand when he came through what I guess is customs in the ’20s? Anyways, they become these kind-of awkward partners in crime, but only after the poor no-maj, Jacob Kowalski (Dan Fogler), has a nasty bump in with one of Newt’s many creatures. Newt and Tina only eventually become allies because of Jacob’s innocent, yet beautiful mind set that Tina’s Legilimency (mind-reading) sister Queenie (Alison Sudol) feels towards Jacob. Jacob takes the role of audience in this film, learning about all of this new wonder and expressing it, he eventually becomes the glue between the sisters and rule-breaking Newt.

Eventually, the president of MACUSA (the Magical Congress of the United States of America), Seraphina Picquery is lead to believe that the chaos happening in New York is Newt’s fault (even though they were having problems before HE EVEN GOT THERE). Trying to keep this review spoiler free, we will leave the remainder of the plot for you to find out yourself. But know that there is more than just one plot line, and that there are many twists and turns along this amazing ride.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them provides another sweet, and succulent extension of JK Rowling’s incredible mind and Wizarding World. The story was written by Rowling herself, and the magic leaps of the screen and stays with you hours after you leave the theater. (Let’s be honest, probably days.) Currently, it can remain as a stand-alone film, but there are many names that we pot-heads will recognize through the film, and for the well-trained ear, you may even recognize some of the musical scores. Personally, this pot-head can’t wait for the next installment of the Wizarding World, and learn more about some twists that were delivered throughout the film.

This holiday, see what is truly, the best film of the year. Fantastic Beasts deserves your $10 and 2 hours of your time. Even if you aren’t a grade-A Potter fanatic.

PS on a fun fact, Actor Eddie Remayne was almost the young Voldemort in Chamber of Secrets! Let’s just say he makes a much better Newt.

fantastic-beasts-and-where-to-find-them-movie-poster-homepage-size

Independence Day 2: Resurgence

Independence Day (1996) is one of my all time favorite films. As I rewatched the film just last night, I realized, to be a girl is to have a crush on Mr. Charismatic, Will Smith, Captain Steve Hiller, to become a woman is to love Jeff Goldbulm’s David Levison. To be fair, I love both characters and have watched Independence Day at least once a year my entire life since 1996. Whoa… that’s at the bare minimum of 20 times. Needless to say, I was very excited for Independence Day 2: Resurgence to soar into theaters and got the chance to see it opening day on Friday.

id422ID4 2 delivers edge of the seat fun, 20 years after Levison and Captain Hiller defeat the aliens that came to pillage the earth for their own reasons that never really become clear until we get the sequel. It is very entertaining to watch almost all of our favorite characters come back to continue a story line that  we have all come to know and love, and most likely quote in regular day conversation and then not have other people understand, then you sigh and die a little inside, but know that there has to be someone out there who would have understood the reference. Then you smile a little. Because now you have another installment of one of your favorite story worlds. Continue reading

A Father’s Influence: RIP Wes Craven

wesJust this week, an incredibly influential man in my life passed away. This man pushed my creative depths and made me see the world in a different light when I was in high school. Maybe even JR high. I was kind of popular, but just weird enough that I wasn’t really invited to the in-crowd’s parties.

I liked horror. I enjoyed movies that were based around a monstrous being terrorizing a group of teenagers. I wasn’t Goth by any means, but my obsession with blood and guts made me just odd enough that I was labeled as a freak. But I didn’t care about any of that. Because neither did either of my fathers.

My Father and I

My Father and I

Now let me explain when I say fathers. Plural. I was part of a nuclear family. One mom, one dad, a brother and a dog. But my curiosity and passion for movies and Halloween were deep. I dressed up as a countess, a witch, and a devil when I was younger, I think the only time I was a princess was in the 3rd grade because I felt the pressure of my peers baring down on me.

But my Dad taught me at a very young age to not care what others thought of me, because honestly, my Dad was the weirdest guy I knew. Out there and opinionated every day of my life. He adored Halloween and his love was passed down to me. Through the womb, because I’m told I came out looking like a monkey. Happy Halloween Mom and Dad! In the middle of May.

I carried around a little ugly deformed baby doll, and it was my favorite. Snot hanging out of its’ nose and the most contorted face of what must have been a dirty diaper. I think my dad actually had it before I was even born and at the age of 3 I fell in love with it.

Even though my Dad was really into Halloween. I mean, this guy turned our home into a haunted house for all the kiddies and adults every year for Trick or Treat night. He insisted that regardless of what night the 31st of October fell on, that would be the Town’s Halloween. Oh, he was also totally the Mayor of my small town for nearly my entire life, since I was the age of 2. But he wasn’t into Horror movies.

freddyA foreign concept, I know! I didn’t get that quirk from my real father. I got it from the late great Wes Craven. Master of horror and the meta. My brother showed my A Nightmare on Elm Street when I was like 8. And Freddy didn’t even phase me. It was then I knew my passion of horror. Wes created my high school career; I can’t even begin to explain how he influenced my perspective of life at one of the most influential ages of a young teenager.

On Sunday, he passed in the comforts of his home after losing a battle to brain cancer. This news rocked me to the bone, because this man who made my high school career, who influenced the “freak” in me, passed from the same illness as my father.

My Dad died in October 2013, one month after his diagnosis of brain cancer. My Father didn’t even get a chance to battle it, I saw him wither away in front of my eyes. The man who taught me to read. This six foot plus guy who dressed up as Frankenstein’s monster the year I wanted to be the Bride of Frankenstein.

I lost myself at the age of 23, two years ago. I finished graduate school on time. A feat that many were surprised by. But I stopped blogging as much. I didn’t analyze movies like I used to. I would vedge out in front of Netflix and pity myself because my dad would never walk me down the aisle. Now, my media father has passed. A man I always dreamed of meeting. Some day and shake his hand and tell him how he shaped my life. Shaped me.

But with the sadness of his death, my life has re-awoken. Losing both my “dads” to the same illness 2 years apart. Fuck that! I mean it! I’m done feeling sad for myself. I have a talent. Writing. Story telling. Pop culture. Using pop culture to my advantage while writing my stories.

I’m not going to hide it any more. I’m going to hit that keyboard hard this weekend. And I am going to write something that both Wes and my Father would be proud of. Because a Father’s influence …. It will never fade.