Honest Friday the 13th Movie Posters

Time for another round for Honest Horror Movie Posters! Today we’re focusing on the Friday the 13th Franchise. This is by far my favorite horror franchise, so it was pretty fun. And in all honesty, the original tagline were pretty decent (e.g. Jason X: Evil Gets an Upgrade). But that is not the name of the game. The name of the game is Honest Movie Posters: Friday the 13th Edition. Let’s get to it.

Friday the 13th (1980) 

1

Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)2

Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982)3

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)4

Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning (1985)5

Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives (1986)6

Friday the 13th Part 7: New Blood (1988)7

Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)8Jason Goes to Hell (1993)

9

Jason X (2001)10

Freddy Vs Jason (2003) 11

12

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Honest Halloween Posters

Today I tossed on Halloween 3, Season of the Witch. Because the last time I tried watching it I was probably about 14 years old, and waited and waited for Michael to show up. I time before the internet held all answers. Ahh, to be an adolescent in 2004. I was wrong, so, so wrong. But because it was sans Michael Myers I always gave it a bad wrap. But today, I decided to give it a real chance as a pure scary movie, because John and Debra were a time head of themselves. Anthology horror didn’t catch on until the 2000s. But while I queued it up, I thought the poster should have a different tagline, and then I thought hell, let’s make a whole series of Honest Horror Movie Posters. Today is the entire franchise of Halloween. Spoilers in the taglines.

Halloween (1978)

Halloween Honest Movie Poster

Halloween II (1981)

Halloween 2 Honest Movie Poster

Halloween III: Season Of The Witch (1982)

Halloween 3 Honest Movie Poster

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

Halloween 4 Honest Movie Poster

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

Halloween 5 Honest Movie Poster

Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

Halloween 6 Honest Movie Poster

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)

H20 Honest movie Poster

Halloween Resurrection (2002)

Halloween Resurrection Honest Movie Poster

Halloween (2007)

Halloween Remake Honest Poster

Halloween (2009)

Halloween 2 remake Honest poster

Halloween (2018)

Halloween 2018 honest poster

Tragedy Girls (2017) Everything You Want & More for Todays’ Horror Fans

tg postersLast year I heard rumors of a film festival horror movie that I knew I’d enjoy. Two teenage girls obsessed with the macabre who are trying to make it in the blogging world. Whose obsession just so happens to borderline the psychotic. PERFECT! Exactly what I want to watch to get my horror fix in. But dammit I can’t find it on Kodi anywhere. Flash forward a year later, Terrarum is the new Kodi, and Tragedy Girls is finally available to stream.

At this point, I’d forgotten about the movie and the poster artwork had changed online. I did no research aside from reading the short summary and decided to toss it on, hoping that it could be bearable for more than the usual 10 minutes I’d give a no-name horror movie a chance to hold my attention.  And whoo boy did it deliver.

We open with two teenagers making out in a secluded lover’s lane on a bridge reminiscent of My Soul to Take. The blonde girl hears something spooky outside. She literally has to call her date a pussy and tell him to man up to do the horror cliche thing and go check on the spooky noises. Because for once it seems like you have a smart character in a horror movie. It doesn’t take but a mere minute for the poor boy from being stiff to being A stiff, as the Killer emerges and takes care of business.

tragedy girls

The Killer chases the young girl screaming through the woods, you assume, she will be an easy next, but this isn’t your typical horror movie. A trap is set, but it’s not BY the Killer, it is FOR the Killer. The blonde captures the Michael Myers knockoff with her best friend who emerges from the dark. And then, as they cut to black and open on the tied up Killer, bombard him with questions, and then finish off his dirty work on the blonde’s date, you realize, this movie is so much more than your typical slasher flick.

Brianna Hildebrand (also known as Negasonic Teenage Warhead) plays Sadie Cunningham (named after horror director Sean Cunningham, of Friday the 13th‘s fame)  and Alexandra Shipp (also a character in the Marvel universe as a young Storm) plays her best friend McKayla Hooper (named after Tobe Hooper of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Poltergeist fame) who grew up together and have a pretty sick hobby in common, their online personalities known as The Tragedy Girls who consider themselves small-town detectives of their local serial killer (seen above).

At first, you believe okay, they’re just putting the first boy toy out of his misery, but soon, as they attempt to murder Alexandra’s moony ex-boyfriend (played perfectly satirical by an uncredited Josh Hutcherson) and frame the serial killer they just kidnapped in the process you come to the conclusion, this is the best final girl movie twist that you could have ever since Cabin in the WoodsTG killers

Not only are there nods to all the great slasher films, but even at moments you think they’ll pull a Carrie, and then you’re like nope this is more Prom Night, they shock you all over again. Much of Tragedy Girls can seem trite or predictable, from the upcoming kills and who they victimize, but it’s wrapped up in such a wonderful candy covered exterior, that you don’t even mind. If you’re looking for a fun slash film that you and your horror friends can giggle at, adore, and try to guess the next gory scene, the familiarity but newness of Tragedy Girls is the perfect film for you.

The cast is marvelous, the writing makes the over-used horror cliches fun, and the overall cinematography is fun and hard to peel your eyes away from. I give it a full 5 eyes of attention span and highly suggest you give this fun movie a run for its money.

5 out of 5

A Father’s Influence: RIP Wes Craven

wesJust this week, an incredibly influential man in my life passed away. This man pushed my creative depths and made me see the world in a different light when I was in high school. Maybe even JR high. I was kind of popular, but just weird enough that I wasn’t really invited to the in-crowd’s parties.

I liked horror. I enjoyed movies that were based around a monstrous being terrorizing a group of teenagers. I wasn’t Goth by any means, but my obsession with blood and guts made me just odd enough that I was labeled as a freak. But I didn’t care about any of that. Because neither did either of my fathers.

My Father and I

My Father and I

Now let me explain when I say fathers. Plural. I was part of a nuclear family. One mom, one dad, a brother and a dog. But my curiosity and passion for movies and Halloween were deep. I dressed up as a countess, a witch, and a devil when I was younger, I think the only time I was a princess was in the 3rd grade because I felt the pressure of my peers baring down on me.

But my Dad taught me at a very young age to not care what others thought of me, because honestly, my Dad was the weirdest guy I knew. Out there and opinionated every day of my life. He adored Halloween and his love was passed down to me. Through the womb, because I’m told I came out looking like a monkey. Happy Halloween Mom and Dad! In the middle of May.

I carried around a little ugly deformed baby doll, and it was my favorite. Snot hanging out of its’ nose and the most contorted face of what must have been a dirty diaper. I think my dad actually had it before I was even born and at the age of 3 I fell in love with it.

Even though my Dad was really into Halloween. I mean, this guy turned our home into a haunted house for all the kiddies and adults every year for Trick or Treat night. He insisted that regardless of what night the 31st of October fell on, that would be the Town’s Halloween. Oh, he was also totally the Mayor of my small town for nearly my entire life, since I was the age of 2. But he wasn’t into Horror movies.

freddyA foreign concept, I know! I didn’t get that quirk from my real father. I got it from the late great Wes Craven. Master of horror and the meta. My brother showed my A Nightmare on Elm Street when I was like 8. And Freddy didn’t even phase me. It was then I knew my passion of horror. Wes created my high school career; I can’t even begin to explain how he influenced my perspective of life at one of the most influential ages of a young teenager.

On Sunday, he passed in the comforts of his home after losing a battle to brain cancer. This news rocked me to the bone, because this man who made my high school career, who influenced the “freak” in me, passed from the same illness as my father.

My Dad died in October 2013, one month after his diagnosis of brain cancer. My Father didn’t even get a chance to battle it, I saw him wither away in front of my eyes. The man who taught me to read. This six foot plus guy who dressed up as Frankenstein’s monster the year I wanted to be the Bride of Frankenstein.

I lost myself at the age of 23, two years ago. I finished graduate school on time. A feat that many were surprised by. But I stopped blogging as much. I didn’t analyze movies like I used to. I would vedge out in front of Netflix and pity myself because my dad would never walk me down the aisle. Now, my media father has passed. A man I always dreamed of meeting. Some day and shake his hand and tell him how he shaped my life. Shaped me.

But with the sadness of his death, my life has re-awoken. Losing both my “dads” to the same illness 2 years apart. Fuck that! I mean it! I’m done feeling sad for myself. I have a talent. Writing. Story telling. Pop culture. Using pop culture to my advantage while writing my stories.

I’m not going to hide it any more. I’m going to hit that keyboard hard this weekend. And I am going to write something that both Wes and my Father would be proud of. Because a Father’s influence …. It will never fade.

Nightmare On Elm Street 1984 vs. 2010

2014’s 13 Days of Horror: Days 05 and 06 of BoOctober

1984 Original vs. 2010 Remake

The Nightmare on Elm Street franchise has the gory privilege of being the most fun horror series out of the top slasher films. Not only are they fun, but they are also capable of delivering some real scares (in the earlier years). None of this would be possible without Freddy, the man of your dreams. Well… I suppose the man of horror fan’s dreams and the nightmares of a person that doesn’t devour each and every installment once every few years. We Fred Heads have a bit of a problem. The same problem that we Crystal Campers and Babysitters all have. We watch, we rewatch, we make our friends watch, all to the point that most people wouldn’t find the films interesting or entertaining any more, but we scoff at those sane people. For we know a real good time, and we find others like us. Others who know that there is only one Fred Kruger, and that Kruger will be the focus point of number 1 of the  10 comparisons and contrasts of A Nightmare on Elm Street.  Continue reading

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1974 vs. 2003

2014’s 13 Days of Horror: Days 03 and 04 of BoOctober

1974 Original vs. 2003 Remake

Tobe Hooper scared the pants off of me when I was little. I was a bit young to be watching The Poltergeist before puberty, but alas, that was my up-bringing. Let’s keep in mind that the movie about the house filled with spooky sectors was actually rated PG though, because God knows what the hell the MPAA was thinking. A few years before we got suburbia built on top of a graveyard, we had Hooper direct and write the “supposedly” true story of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Which is an odd title for the 1974 film that started off the slasher genre and ushered in the horror tropes we now know and love. A.) Because the story it is supposedly based on actually took place in Wisconsin and B.) not only did the real “Leatherface” not have the weapon of choice be a chainsaw, but our original film hardly uses a chainsaw! Anyways, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is in my personal bottom slot of the slasher genre’s top four killers: Jason Vorhees, Michael Myers, Leatherface, and Freddy Krueger. The films have never really resonated at all with me, and the lack of enthusiasm that you read below is why. So sorry about my 10 comparisons and contrasts being short, and a bit lack-luster. But Hey! Day 05 and 06 will be on the Nightmare franchise, and I fucking love Freddy.  Continue reading

Halloween 1978 vs 2007

2014’s 13 Days of Horror: Days 01 and 02 of BoOctober

 1978 Original vs. 2007 Remake

Some say that Michael Myers was the leader in slasher films. He began what was to be known as the golden age… um excuse me, the bloody age of slasher that would blossom in the 80s become a joke in the 90s and a satirical ploy by the time the new century was rolling in. But if we look chronologically, we see that Leatherface actually began this age of slash, back in 1974, but we’ll focus on that franchise tomorrow. Today we will talk about the influential silent killer, the boy that turned into PURE EVIL and made the night of Halloween frightening for adults and horny teenagers, not just little tykes afraid of the boogeyman in their closet. Below are 10 comparisons and contrasts of John Carpenter’s indie film Halloween and Rob Zombie’s high-budgeted Halloween. And you will come to see that more money, doesn’t always mean the audience will get a better movie. Continue reading

(19 Reasons Why) Carrie (2013) was a B-list movie with an A-list Budget

Carrie Poster

Carrie Poster

The remake Carrie does a pretty good job of updating a movie that was once remade previously in 2002, and my general consensus is that it is a great movie in the fact that it is a campy horror movie, but with a rocketed high budget. The new Carrie, doesn’t outdo the original or the previous remake, but it does vamp it up for today’s horror fans, and pays tribute to King’s original story a bit better, thanks to that bigger budget. The following is a comprised list (from memory) of changes that made the film fun, but also sometimes worse. Continue reading

(13 Reasons Why) Carrie (1976) was nothing like my own High School Experience

1.) That opening Locker scene was filled with so much tits, bush, and ass, I thought I popped in a porno. I distinctly remember everyone trying not to see each others body changing for gym, not to mention we were never given enough time to shower afterwards.

I could not find a better photo, but the movies on Netflix, go hunting.

I could not find a better photo, but the movies on Netflix, go hunting.

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(22 Reasons Why) Earnest Scared Stupid is just as great as an adult

Day 5 of BoOctober and I am watching one of my top 3 favorite Halloween movies of my childhood: Earnest Scared Stupid. Although the movie came out in 1991, It is a staple of my years as a child and even as a young adult I look forward to watching it every year.

1.) The opening segment has clips from old black and white movies which is too funny because the audience for these movies, had no idea what they were from.

My fave actor as a child

My fave actor as a child

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