Phantoms (1998)

Phantoms Poster

Phantoms Poster

Phantoms is a horror, sci-fi, thriller set in a ski town of Colorado that is very much dated by the decade of the 90’s; if not by just the cast but the special effects alone. The movie is based off of a novel by horror writer Dean Koontz who also happened to pen the screenplay. The movie is a bit of a cross-over between The Thing (1982) and Scream (1996); it’s pretty much a small group of 90’s arch-type characters being picked-off one by one by creatures from another world that they can’t really identify. It even casts Rose McGowan as the classic whore, a Skeet Ulrich look-a-like Ben Affleck, and a young Liev Schreiber; so as you can tell, they are trying hella hard to replicate the success of Craven’s Scream. 

Overall the film is lack-luster with time. It did not age well in the last 17 years; the scares are dismissive, the creature are un-realistic and poorly construed, the cast only called in on half the days, and the story holds no real sense of believable urgency. It’s a bummer as my boyfriend highly recommended the film as a fun, campy 90’s classic; for me it missed the mark, which is disappointing as I am a very big fan of Koontz’ Odd Thomas which is also on Netflix as of May, 2015.

Galaxy Quest (1999)

The crew of Galaxy Quest

The crew of Galaxy Quest

Galaxy Quest is a sci-fi comedy, considered to be part of the Star Trek franchise, which is beyond brilliant and relevant to the series still 15 years later. One of the best casting decisions was pulling alien guru Sigourney Weaver on deck and having Tim Allen as the misogynistic Captain Kirk archetype slowly sinking into desperation and the sad realization that he’s a laughing stock? I mean come on, that’s Buzz Lightyear man. To make the cast even more perfect,  Alan Rickman plays our Spock surrogate who never removes his head piece (even while at home gossiping on the phone) and we have Sam Rockwell (Moon and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) as a classic Red-Shirt team member, constantly aware and afraid of being killed off before the first commercial! And these are just a few of the glorious jems in the film that create the perfect realm.

If you have no idea on what the movie is about, shame on you, but here is a pretty simple synopsis taken from IMDb.com to explain a rather difficult summary: “The alumni cast of a space opera television series have to play their roles as the real thing when an alien race needs their help.” ….. And that’s really as the best as it gets.

If you’re a fan of science fiction and haven’t watched Galaxy Quest yet, you need to, even if you’re not a hard core Trekkie, it’s still a great time and delivers the laughs and a general euphoria of happiness whole watching. Making any fandom hope, and maybe even believe that their favorite show could be real. Because who wouldn’t want the Doctor, Captain Kirk, Han Solo,  Rose Tyler, Gamora, Leia, or Ellen Ripley to be real? At least in some alternate universe, they have to exist, right?

The movie making fun of the franchise making fun of the show. Trek-ception?

The movie making fun of the franchise making fun of the show.
Trek-ception?

Galaxy Quest is currently available on Netflix as of May 2015, I would suggest watching it while also reading the trivia about.

Stitches (2012)

Stitches poster

A Clown with a Killer Attitude

Stitches is a a fun clever horror movie that delivers on so many damn levels it’s hard to believe that is took my this long to watch it. The comedy, horror was recently added to Netflix this year, and had been in my queue for a hot minute. The film begins brilliantly, with a clown fucking his mistress in full get-up, to only be disrupted with an alarm reminding him of a bastard’s party he has to entertain at. And even though Stitches, our clown (Ross Noble), isn’t the best entertainer, the kids at the party are just the worst! While the kids razz both Stitches, his jokes, and his tricks, they decide to play a mean joke on him and knock him over after one of the ass hole kids tie up his over-sized shoelaces. Continue reading

The Quiet Ones (2014)

"INSPIRED BY ACTUAL EVENTS"

“INSPIRED BY ACTUAL EVENTS”

The Quiet Ones is a supernatural, demonic horror film with a slow build and a fizzle of a climax. It is yet another “inspired by actual events” story of a young girl possessed by an inexpiable personality. It takes place during the 70s (typical) and follows a professor (Jared Harris), two of this doting students (Erin Richards and Rory Fleck-Byrne), and a young camera-man (Sam Claflin) looking to gain some experience and a bit of knowledge about a young, disturbed girl (Olivia Cooke, Emma of Bates Hotel) and her “medical treatment.” Continue reading

Left Behind (2014)

Left Behind poster work

The end is nigh…. For Nic Cage’s career

So we all know that Nic Cage has made a few poor decisions in the past ten years when is comes to casting choices. From Ghost Rider to The Wicker Manour boy Nicolas has been drawing the short stick for decent movies. And the case of bad roles doesn’t break with Left Behinda story about the people “left behind” after the rapture happens. Nic is the father of one of the skeptics of God that loses her younger brother and crazy, punch drinking mother in a naked daze (as all that is left behind of the raptured are their clothes).

Left Behind is a slow moving catastrophe that arrives without a pulse. I checked it out on Netflix in the hopes that it would be so bad that it would be fun, but boy, was I wrong. Left Behind will be of no interest to anybody outside the tight bible belt as these slow characters come to realize that they missed their chance at God’s gift.

Even if bored at the end of the night, I’d steer clear of this dud of a movie.

Series Finale of HIMYM: Why I’m Not Actually Angry

One year ago today, still sad, but not salty. Find out why with my review on the series finale of HIMYM

Reel Thoughts of Jacki K, Jacki Krumnow, Jacqueline Krumnow

I know the majority of the Internet has been in a complete hissy for the past few days, and every person is entitled to their own opinion, but I’m here to tell you why the series finale of How I Met Your Mother wasn’t as outrageously bad as everyone believes. And I’m writing this post and publishing it days later yes, but I wanted to be able to think about the show, think about the ending and really mull over what they did with it. Hopefully you will read all of this post before you post any hate comments at the bottom.

To begin,

I’ve been watching HIMYM since the very start, I was front row and center when creators and writers Carter Bays and Craig Thomas gave us what was seemingly our first bait and switch on September 19, 2005. I was a wee 15 year old, who was…

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Animal (2014)

Said Naked-Mole Rat Humanoid Crossbreed

Said Naked-Mole Rat Humanoid Crossbreed

Animal is a 2014 creature feature that is a fun romp through the forest from beginning to end. The film is about 2 bickering biracial siblings taking their significant others, and a 5th gay wheel, to an old family hiking spot for some relaxing exertion? Why do people hike in groups? That’s just asking for trouble, and trouble is delivered.

The cast is filled out by some veteran actors and some newbs which make the movie both tolerable yet difficult to watch at certain points. The old live-action Peter Pan is in it, along with RJ Burger (who I love more than life itself), Big Daddy‘s shitty girlfriendRidge Forrester, and a Nickelodeon star in her first ever horror movie (I’m assuming). It’s a pretty tight cast with only 8 members on screen, which is an interesting take for a creature horror movie. Continue reading

Doctor Who (What did Jacki K Watch? Day 21)

10 Years ago New Who Premiered! Thank you every day Chris and Billie! You changed my life.

Reel Thoughts of Jacki K, Jacki Krumnow, Jacqueline Krumnow

Ninth and Rose Ninth and Rose

Wow, so, it’s been longer than a week since I have written a blog, but I swear it’s for good reason. I went on that camping trip, then to Cedar Point, and began a new job. SO it’s been a busy week and a half. I haven’t really watched anything new lately, but I did rewatch the first series of Doctor Who to get my younger cousin introduced to the fandom. So today’s post will be about beginning the fanatical, phonomenal Doctor Who franchise again.

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Wolf Creek 2

wolf creekSo last night my remote decided I wanted to watch 2013’s Wolf Creek 2. I was like:

Sure why not,  it may or may not be torture porn but like, it has 2 stars,  I’ve watched horror movies with a lower recommendation than that.

Now I’ll admit,  I’m not the biggest fan of the torture porn genre of horror.  It’s by far the lowest point of the genres,  but it takes a lot of balls and creativity to come up with some of the ways the killer massacres their victims. That is one point I’ll always give ’em. I also have not watched the original Wolf Creek from shit, was it 2005? I’m writing this on the mobile app,  tough to check that shit. Continue reading