The Quiet Ones (2014)

"INSPIRED BY ACTUAL EVENTS"

“INSPIRED BY ACTUAL EVENTS”

The Quiet Ones is a supernatural, demonic horror film with a slow build and a fizzle of a climax. It is yet another “inspired by actual events” story of a young girl possessed by an inexpiable personality. It takes place during the 70s (typical) and follows a professor (Jared Harris), two of this doting students (Erin Richards and Rory Fleck-Byrne), and a young camera-man (Sam Claflin) looking to gain some experience and a bit of knowledge about a young, disturbed girl (Olivia Cooke, Emma of Bates Hotel) and her “medical treatment.” Continue reading

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Left Behind (2014)

Left Behind poster work

The end is nigh…. For Nic Cage’s career

So we all know that Nic Cage has made a few poor decisions in the past ten years when is comes to casting choices. From Ghost Rider to The Wicker Manour boy Nicolas has been drawing the short stick for decent movies. And the case of bad roles doesn’t break with Left Behinda story about the people “left behind” after the rapture happens. Nic is the father of one of the skeptics of God that loses her younger brother and crazy, punch drinking mother in a naked daze (as all that is left behind of the raptured are their clothes).

Left Behind is a slow moving catastrophe that arrives without a pulse. I checked it out on Netflix in the hopes that it would be so bad that it would be fun, but boy, was I wrong. Left Behind will be of no interest to anybody outside the tight bible belt as these slow characters come to realize that they missed their chance at God’s gift.

Even if bored at the end of the night, I’d steer clear of this dud of a movie.

Series Finale of HIMYM: Why I’m Not Actually Angry

One year ago today, still sad, but not salty. Find out why with my review on the series finale of HIMYM

Reel Thoughts of Jacki K, Jacki Krumnow, Jacqueline Krumnow

I know the majority of the Internet has been in a complete hissy for the past few days, and every person is entitled to their own opinion, but I’m here to tell you why the series finale of How I Met Your Mother wasn’t as outrageously bad as everyone believes. And I’m writing this post and publishing it days later yes, but I wanted to be able to think about the show, think about the ending and really mull over what they did with it. Hopefully you will read all of this post before you post any hate comments at the bottom.

To begin,

I’ve been watching HIMYM since the very start, I was front row and center when creators and writers Carter Bays and Craig Thomas gave us what was seemingly our first bait and switch on September 19, 2005. I was a wee 15 year old, who was…

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Animal (2014)

Said Naked-Mole Rat Humanoid Crossbreed

Said Naked-Mole Rat Humanoid Crossbreed

Animal is a 2014 creature feature that is a fun romp through the forest from beginning to end. The film is about 2 bickering biracial siblings taking their significant others, and a 5th gay wheel, to an old family hiking spot for some relaxing exertion? Why do people hike in groups? That’s just asking for trouble, and trouble is delivered.

The cast is filled out by some veteran actors and some newbs which make the movie both tolerable yet difficult to watch at certain points. The old live-action Peter Pan is in it, along with RJ Burger (who I love more than life itself), Big Daddy‘s shitty girlfriendRidge Forrester, and a Nickelodeon star in her first ever horror movie (I’m assuming). It’s a pretty tight cast with only 8 members on screen, which is an interesting take for a creature horror movie. Continue reading

Doctor Who (What did Jacki K Watch? Day 21)

10 Years ago New Who Premiered! Thank you every day Chris and Billie! You changed my life.

Reel Thoughts of Jacki K, Jacki Krumnow, Jacqueline Krumnow

Ninth and Rose Ninth and Rose

Wow, so, it’s been longer than a week since I have written a blog, but I swear it’s for good reason. I went on that camping trip, then to Cedar Point, and began a new job. SO it’s been a busy week and a half. I haven’t really watched anything new lately, but I did rewatch the first series of Doctor Who to get my younger cousin introduced to the fandom. So today’s post will be about beginning the fanatical, phonomenal Doctor Who franchise again.

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Wolf Creek 2

wolf creekSo last night my remote decided I wanted to watch 2013’s Wolf Creek 2. I was like:

Sure why not,  it may or may not be torture porn but like, it has 2 stars,  I’ve watched horror movies with a lower recommendation than that.

Now I’ll admit,  I’m not the biggest fan of the torture porn genre of horror.  It’s by far the lowest point of the genres,  but it takes a lot of balls and creativity to come up with some of the ways the killer massacres their victims. That is one point I’ll always give ’em. I also have not watched the original Wolf Creek from shit, was it 2005? I’m writing this on the mobile app,  tough to check that shit. Continue reading

Grabbers (2012)

grabbersGrabbers is a creature film that takes place in an island off the coast of Ireland and focuses around the whole town getting shit-faced to survive. Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone.

To celebrate, I tried finding the most Irish movie on Netflix to watch (aside from the Leprechaun, because fuck that shit). With the help of Kris Holt, I decided on Jon Wright‘s Grabbers. The beginning of the film shows a bright, burning light falling down to the ocean surrounding the wee town. So it’s bit of a cross between creature and alien film but without the scares.  Continue reading

Nightmare On Elm Street 1984 vs. 2010

2014’s 13 Days of Horror: Days 05 and 06 of BoOctober

1984 Original vs. 2010 Remake

The Nightmare on Elm Street franchise has the gory privilege of being the most fun horror series out of the top slasher films. Not only are they fun, but they are also capable of delivering some real scares (in the earlier years). None of this would be possible without Freddy, the man of your dreams. Well… I suppose the man of horror fan’s dreams and the nightmares of a person that doesn’t devour each and every installment once every few years. We Fred Heads have a bit of a problem. The same problem that we Crystal Campers and Babysitters all have. We watch, we rewatch, we make our friends watch, all to the point that most people wouldn’t find the films interesting or entertaining any more, but we scoff at those sane people. For we know a real good time, and we find others like us. Others who know that there is only one Fred Kruger, and that Kruger will be the focus point of number 1 of the  10 comparisons and contrasts of A Nightmare on Elm Street.  Continue reading

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1974 vs. 2003

2014’s 13 Days of Horror: Days 03 and 04 of BoOctober

1974 Original vs. 2003 Remake

Tobe Hooper scared the pants off of me when I was little. I was a bit young to be watching The Poltergeist before puberty, but alas, that was my up-bringing. Let’s keep in mind that the movie about the house filled with spooky sectors was actually rated PG though, because God knows what the hell the MPAA was thinking. A few years before we got suburbia built on top of a graveyard, we had Hooper direct and write the “supposedly” true story of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Which is an odd title for the 1974 film that started off the slasher genre and ushered in the horror tropes we now know and love. A.) Because the story it is supposedly based on actually took place in Wisconsin and B.) not only did the real “Leatherface” not have the weapon of choice be a chainsaw, but our original film hardly uses a chainsaw! Anyways, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is in my personal bottom slot of the slasher genre’s top four killers: Jason Vorhees, Michael Myers, Leatherface, and Freddy Krueger. The films have never really resonated at all with me, and the lack of enthusiasm that you read below is why. So sorry about my 10 comparisons and contrasts being short, and a bit lack-luster. But Hey! Day 05 and 06 will be on the Nightmare franchise, and I fucking love Freddy.  Continue reading