Dead Before Dawn: Zombies, Demons, and Curses, Oh my!

Dead Before Dawn poster

Dead Before Dawn poster

There is a gem out there, a movie that is beyond quirky, fun, clever, and laced with satire, I mean, really it is a “B movie” with backbone and brilliance. It will have your attention from the very first clumsy clip of our pitiful protagonist, and it will not let go of you. This bright and shiny new film based on tired, dopey tropes is Dead Before Dawn and can thankfully be viewed on Netflix, which is where I just so happen to find it while perusing the horror genre. It’s a Canadian Indie film that didn’t get much traction here in the U.S. because if it did, you know for a fact, this bitch would had been watching the overused 3D tricks in theaters.  April Mullen directs the 90 minute 2012 film with a freshness that pays constant tribute to a tired genre and brings  Tim Doiron‘s goofy yet clever screenplay to life.

The Comedy-Horror takes place on what one must assume is a community college in Canada, and although the protagonists of the movie are nearing graduation, these kids seem like freshman or sophomores in age. Our lead is Casper Galloway (Devon Bostick), and I’m not sure how popular the name “Casper” is in Canada, but from my perspective, it’s a nod to the friendliest ghost we all know. Anyways, Casper is a clumsy, doodling boy who lives at home with his widowed mother, and is deathly afraid of his granddad’s “Occult Antique Store” because he kinda, sorta accidentally killed his father there. So, Casper has to watch this spooky antique store for an evening while his awesome cooky granddad, played by Christopher Lloyd, goes to an awards ceremony and receives a lifetime achievement award in the occult community? The movie ends up having a constant gag with a trophy throughout it, but hey an excuse to get the ball rolling for the film is good as any. It’s not like I was expecting a lot with this movie.

The Rag Tag group of nonbelievers: Dazzle, Becky, Seth, Casper (a smart believer, considering he's the only one who prepares for the curse), Charlotte, Patrick, and Lucy

The Rag Tag group of nonbelievers: Dazzle, Becky, Seth, Casper (a smart believer, considering he’s the only one who prepares for the curse), Charlotte, Patrick, and Lucy

So, Casper decides to watch the shop for his granddad, and while he’s there his unattainable crush (Charlotte, played by that one girl from Superbad Martha MacIsaac) walks into the store as an apparent regular. She’s there with her best friend who happens to be a whorish cheerleader, Lucy (Brittany Allen), and who has no interest in the oddball hipster friend of Casper, Seth (Tim Doiron), who is desperately in love with her and mugs. Seth sells the crap out of mugs. After Charlotte and Lucy chit chat with Caspy for awhile, the rest of the gang arrives, including Seth, star football player and token black guy Dazzle (Brandon Jay McLaren), best chick friend Becky (April Mullen), and douchy bf of the unattainable; Patrick (Kyle Schmid). Now that the rest of the important cast has arrived, we can get into the hilarious manner in which the zombie demons, aka zemons, arrive.

The store has a creepy skull urn that no one should “ever come within spitting distance of,” but of course it is out on display on the highest shelf.

Said creepy urn. I mean it has a damn human skull on it.

Said creepy urn. I mean it has a damn human skull on it.

A beautiful Zemon

A beautiful Zemon

Even though Casper is told to never touch the urn, it becomes a topic of conversation with his friends and he wishes to impress Charlotte (above), and then he drops it all because she brushes his hand. As the urn shatters, Casper freaks the hell out and claims “We’re all cursed! Doomed!” And his friends take about 5 minutes to then ridicule him and said curse, and apparently, what ever the people whom broke the urn said as the last ash fell to the floor would then happen is the new curse. Because that’s how curses work right? Anyways, to make an already long story short, as they make fun of such a “silly” topic, they claim who ever makes direct eye contact with anyone after 10 pm that night (because midnight is too cliche) the person will commit suicide, come back to life as a Zemon and make their creators and other bystanders into fellow suicide committing zemons  by giving them hickies. BUT! You can totally make one of the zemons into your salve if you can seduce and french kiss them. Like I said, they discuss what the would be curse would be for about 5 minutes. It’s a wonderful 5 minutes though, and it turns out to be a hilarious curse.

GREAT SCOTT! (Also this is the 2nd time Lloyd has played a zombie, whoops, spoiler, he makes eye contact with everyone in the shop.)

GREAT SCOTT! (Also this is the 2nd time Lloyd has played a zombie, whoops, spoiler, he makes eye contact with everyone in the shop.)

Of course, the rest of the film contains shenanigans leading up to the rag-tag group fighting off the zemons and breaking the curse before dawn, which gives them 6 hours to fix what they so royally screwed up. Dead Before Dawn has loads of amazing atheistic and verbal jokes, and is one of the best Indie Horror movies I’ve seen in a long time. I was weary about watching the film, but the fact that Christopher Lloyd was in it really helped me push play because GREAT SCOTT! He’s fucking Doc man, and he even says it! He says “GREAT SCOTT” and I flipped my shit! It was amazeballs.

The first portion of the

The first portion of the “realization of how badly we fucked up” scene

I don’t want to spoil too much else about Dead Before Dawn but I highly recommend checking it out. The Zemons look pretty convincing and they have one really great panorama shot of Casper and Becky seeing the now Zemon covered football field, because remember, they set the curse time for 10 pm. The editors also use cut-to’s and montage scenes exceptionally well, and really add the funny edge while paying tribute to the overused tropes. And of course, we have a humorous nod to different weaponry that can be spotted in numerous zombie films, but oddly enough, no use of a religious symbol, a wasted opportunity, which leads me to believe that these Zemons are only zombies, the story writer must have really wanted to contribute to the horror lexicon.

All the characters are well developed and although the acting is sub-par, you’ll love the collaboration on screen. Each character really brings an individual feel to the film and there would be an emptiness without them. Very seldom can you say that each character is a key player in a film. No talent goes to waste. You can tell the cast and crew had a great time filming and writing the movie and you’re going to have just as much fun watching it.  Be sure to listen to the end credits as well, they wrote their own songs that tie into the film, and they’re just as great and super catchy.

If you’re looking for a fun, comedy horror movie to knock some time out, I highly recommend Dead Before Dawn, and if you’ve seen it, please comment below and tell me what you thought! I’ve read other, high class reviews, and I believe that those reviewers, were not the target demographic. Anyways, if my rave review doesn’t convince you, check out the trailer below and you’ll get just a taste of the wonderment I was talking about.

Sexy Evil Genius

Poster for Sexy Evil Genius

Poster for Sexy Evil Genius

I was strolling about Netflix the other night, looking for something new and original (after watching the dreadful Paranormal Activity 4, don’t judge me, I wanted something horror related, & we all know how shitty Netflix’s Horror picks can be). I was rolling through the recently added section and saw an attention grabbing title: Sexy Evil Genius. I read the synopsis: four strangers realize they’re all ex’s of a conniving, certifiably insane, seductive woman who gathers them at a seedy bar in the deep of L.A. It’s categorized as an Indie comedy, drama, mystery film. And it undoubtedly hits every category incredibly well. Continue reading

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

Is the long awaited sequel to the comedy cult worth the wait? Yes. Is Anchorman 2 better than the first? Upon a first watching no, it’s a 2 hour film, and for a comedy, that pushes the standard limit of the audience’s full attention. Can the new film stand alone and eventually ascend cult classic status? Maybe, it’s still a bit early to tell.

One of the biggest fears an audience has when a studio finally comes about making a long awaited sequel, is getting the full cast to return, and thankfully, Paramount Pictures (the parent studio) got the whole gang back together. Leading stars Will FerrellSteve CarellPaul RuddDavid Koechner, and Christina Applegate come back to play Burgundy, Brick, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, and the lovely Veronica Corningstone. Smaller roles make their return as well which (without spoilers) include barking Baxter and Fred Willard as Ed Harken. New-comers Meagan Good as Ron’s interracial lover and boss, along with James Marsden as an insufferable ass hole, and Kristen Wiig as Brick’s eventual wife who seems to be slightly off kilter as well, make a wonderful addition to the cast. There are loads of other guest appearances which will make you lose your mind when you see them. They are all perfectly framed and make sense, but I’m not going to tell you who they are, and I’ll ask you to steer clear of the IMDb website, because looking at the cast list would ruin the surprise. Continue reading

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, a Summary in Gifs

In 2004 a legend was born, and that legend was a misogynistic, scotch-loving mustached anchorman of channel 4 KVWN, located in San Diego, which loosely translates into “a whale’s vagina.” In celebration of the return of the renowned character, I re-watched the original and fell in love with the character all over again. And I know I’m not alone when I say that 10 years was far too long to wait for a new installation of Adam McKay and Will Ferrell‘s story of a new steam from the 1970s. Below is a compilment of gifs that make up some of the most awesome moments of Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

Our journey begins with the hero of our story’s first words:

It’s Incredible really.

We then meet the rest of the Channel 4 news team:

Hello Channel 4 newsteam

Continue reading

New Girl (2013 Fall Premieres)

Season 3 of New Girl opens up with no time lost between Season 2’s final episode. And season 3 seems like it will keep on delivering the quirky, adorable laughs that Zooey DeschanelJake Johnson (Nick), Max Greenfield (Schmidt) and Lamorne Morris (Winston) delivered in the first 2 seasons.

The season opens up with Jess and Nick arriving back at the door of their loft after they decide to go “all in” with dating one another. It’s surprising that they are continuing with this development considering that every sitcom ever usually relies on the “will they, won’t they” tactic, they played that card pretty early on. Not to mention Jess being taken revokes any further chance of the parade of gorgeous men through the apartment. And come on, Jess had some pretty men strolling through all her hallways.  Continue reading

The World’s End (What did Jacki K Watch, Day 33)

The World’s End Poster

The World’s End is a smart, clever, spectacular British comedy that we thick Americans should all be able to enjoy. It may have been about 5 years since the creative team behind Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead has graced the screens around the world, but it was well worth the wait. Continue reading

We’re the Millers (What did Jacki K watch? Day 29)

We're the Millers* Poster

We’re the Millers* Poster

We’re the Millers was being advertised as the drop kick, funniest movie of the summer; now was it that? No, it was not. This was though. Was it funny? Yes, did it make me shit myself from laughter? No, could I have waited to see it for free or rental? Yes. Yes, I could have, and yes you could as well.

We’re the Millers, has an amazing cast that could deliver laughs and make you squirm in awkward pain, but I don’t think they delivered their full potential. It’s a fun movie to sit back and enjoy sober, but it may just be loads funnier if you’re drunk or stoned while viewing the movie. It only makes sense considering the nature of the film right? Oh, wait do you not know the premise of the movie yet? Continue reading

The IT Crowd (What did Jacki K Watch, day 28)

Moss, Jen, and Roy

Do you guys remember that quirky British comedy that came out around 2006, but didn’t really hit the states until 2008? It was called The IT Crowd and to anyone who was unaware about the premise of the show, maybe thought that the show was about an IT CROWD. Like the popular crowd. The new IT item. You know, that end of the social spectrum. Ironically, the show is about something completely different. It’s about the I.T. Department at a high end business with many levels to one building in London, England. And as you can imagine,  the three main characters are quite awkward, and two of them are a bit  on the antisocial side. Continue reading

Dead Alive (What Did Jacki K Watch? Day 10)

Dead Alive/Brain Dead poster

Dead Alive/Brain Dead poster

I’ve recently came into the LAMB community and for my first LAMB Movie of the Month I had the pleasure to watch Dead Alive (1992, aka Braindead). And damn, I’m still not sure on if it was a mistake or not. I watched it alone, and I know that was a mistake. This is most certainly a movie to watch with your friend’s with benefits. That being the benefit of lighting up some dope (dope is what all the kids are calling it now don’t you know? Actually it’s what my mother just referred to it as) while watching a really terrible, yet influential horror movie. Although as much as it would be categorized as horror, it is just as much comedy as well.  

Dead Alive had me covering my mouth in shock, groaning in disgust, laughing aloud, and pondering to myself on how the hell the established Director that  I know, Peter Jackson, could ever direct or even be a part of a movie this ridiculous! The editing, acting, character development, plot line, and special effects are not only grotesque, but underwritten as well. The only shinning redemption of this film is that it is so bad it’s good in some sort of incredibly cheesy manner. Continue reading

This Is The End (What did Jacki K Watch? Day 09)

This is the End Poster

I saw by far the most amazing movie of the summer tonight. And because of how amazing it was this review will contain spoilers. I honestly don’t know how else to talk about this brilliant Action/Comedy/Horror movie. So if you came to my sight for a spoiler free review, I suggest you search else where. You have been warned.

This Is The End opens with Seth Rogen waiting for his fellow Canadian BFF Jay Baruchel at the airport for a weekend of shenanigans in L.A.  Little did Jay know that he would be spending the Apocalypse  at James Franco‘s new house, one of Seth’s newer friends, whom Jay does not care for. If you didn’t know, this film is based around the worst, funniest, and demeaning sides of the actors themselves. They are their own selves but magnified. And I love that concept of the movie, and so should you. Remember how that same concept was applied to that really shitty 2010 summer release of Grown Upswhere it turned into a giant roast between the cast that wasn’t funny or delivered well? Well, 2013’s This Is The End is the best Action/Comedy I have ever seen in my entire life. My face was actually sore after the movie from smiling the whole 107 minutes. Continue reading