Phantoms (1998)

Phantoms Poster

Phantoms Poster

Phantoms is a horror, sci-fi, thriller set in a ski town of Colorado that is very much dated by the decade of the 90’s; if not by just the cast but the special effects alone. The movie is based off of a novel by horror writer Dean Koontz who also happened to pen the screenplay. The movie is a bit of a cross-over between The Thing (1982) and Scream (1996); it’s pretty much a small group of 90’s arch-type characters being picked-off one by one by creatures from another world that they can’t really identify. It even casts Rose McGowan as the classic whore, a Skeet Ulrich look-a-like Ben Affleck, and a young Liev Schreiber; so as you can tell, they are trying hella hard to replicate the success of Craven’s Scream. 

Overall the film is lack-luster with time. It did not age well in the last 17 years; the scares are dismissive, the creature are un-realistic and poorly construed, the cast only called in on half the days, and the story holds no real sense of believable urgency. It’s a bummer as my boyfriend highly recommended the film as a fun, campy 90’s classic; for me it missed the mark, which is disappointing as I am a very big fan of Koontz’ Odd Thomas which is also on Netflix as of May, 2015.

Galaxy Quest (1999)

The crew of Galaxy Quest

The crew of Galaxy Quest

Galaxy Quest is a sci-fi comedy, considered to be part of the Star Trek franchise, which is beyond brilliant and relevant to the series still 15 years later. One of the best casting decisions was pulling alien guru Sigourney Weaver on deck and having Tim Allen as the misogynistic Captain Kirk archetype slowly sinking into desperation and the sad realization that he’s a laughing stock? I mean come on, that’s Buzz Lightyear man. To make the cast even more perfect,  Alan Rickman plays our Spock surrogate who never removes his head piece (even while at home gossiping on the phone) and we have Sam Rockwell (Moon and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) as a classic Red-Shirt team member, constantly aware and afraid of being killed off before the first commercial! And these are just a few of the glorious jems in the film that create the perfect realm.

If you have no idea on what the movie is about, shame on you, but here is a pretty simple synopsis taken from IMDb.com to explain a rather difficult summary: “The alumni cast of a space opera television series have to play their roles as the real thing when an alien race needs their help.” ….. And that’s really as the best as it gets.

If you’re a fan of science fiction and haven’t watched Galaxy Quest yet, you need to, even if you’re not a hard core Trekkie, it’s still a great time and delivers the laughs and a general euphoria of happiness whole watching. Making any fandom hope, and maybe even believe that their favorite show could be real. Because who wouldn’t want the Doctor, Captain Kirk, Han Solo,  Rose Tyler, Gamora, Leia, or Ellen Ripley to be real? At least in some alternate universe, they have to exist, right?

The movie making fun of the franchise making fun of the show. Trek-ception?

The movie making fun of the franchise making fun of the show.
Trek-ception?

Galaxy Quest is currently available on Netflix as of May 2015, I would suggest watching it while also reading the trivia about.

Stitches (2012)

Stitches poster

A Clown with a Killer Attitude

Stitches is a a fun clever horror movie that delivers on so many damn levels it’s hard to believe that is took my this long to watch it. The comedy, horror was recently added to Netflix this year, and had been in my queue for a hot minute. The film begins brilliantly, with a clown fucking his mistress in full get-up, to only be disrupted with an alarm reminding him of a bastard’s party he has to entertain at. And even though Stitches, our clown (Ross Noble), isn’t the best entertainer, the kids at the party are just the worst! While the kids razz both Stitches, his jokes, and his tricks, they decide to play a mean joke on him and knock him over after one of the ass hole kids tie up his over-sized shoelaces.

Poor, poor Stitches, (*spoilers*) he falls on face first on a butcher knife that was poorly placed in a dishwasher that was never closed, like, at ALL!

So Stitches isn’t really about a killer clown, as I once thought from just the poster artwork available on Netflix. Stitches is about a dead clown coming back from the grave to wreak revenge on the shitty little Hellians who are having one hell of a rager about 10 years after they accidentally kill them.

The movie has some really gruesome kills in it, but oh my god! They are fun! Even the teenagers, I can’t help but like them too! I was pretty bummed when a few of the certain characters we murdered. But damn, the cats from across the pond really know how to get their gore on. The kills are creative, I’m like 80% sure each kid represented a deadly sin, but I can’t find anything online to corroborate that; the cinematography was done perfectly, almost in a satirical, comedic take of Quentin Tarantino’s films; and the overall pace of the movie builds perfectly, yet moves at an enjoyable pace.

Stitches is a great comedy horror and I highly recommend you take a shot at this clever take on a clown with a killer attitude.

Left Behind (2014)

Left Behind poster work

The end is nigh…. For Nic Cage’s career

So we all know that Nic Cage has made a few poor decisions in the past ten years when is comes to casting choices. From Ghost Rider to The Wicker Manour boy Nicolas has been drawing the short stick for decent movies. And the case of bad roles doesn’t break with Left Behinda story about the people “left behind” after the rapture happens. Nic is the father of one of the skeptics of God that loses her younger brother and crazy, punch drinking mother in a naked daze (as all that is left behind of the raptured are their clothes).

Left Behind is a slow moving catastrophe that arrives without a pulse. I checked it out on Netflix in the hopes that it would be so bad that it would be fun, but boy, was I wrong. Left Behind will be of no interest to anybody outside the tight bible belt as these slow characters come to realize that they missed their chance at God’s gift.

Even if bored at the end of the night, I’d steer clear of this dud of a movie.

Animal (2014)

Said Naked-Mole Rat Humanoid Crossbreed

Said Naked-Mole Rat Humanoid Crossbreed

Animal is a 2014 creature feature that is a fun romp through the forest from beginning to end. The film is about 2 bickering biracial siblings taking their significant others, and a 5th gay wheel, to an old family hiking spot for some relaxing exertion? Why do people hike in groups? That’s just asking for trouble, and trouble is delivered.

The cast is filled out by some veteran actors and some newbs which make the movie both tolerable yet difficult to watch at certain points. The old live-action Peter Pan is in it, along with RJ Burger (who I love more than life itself), Big Daddy‘s shitty girlfriendRidge Forrester, and a Nickelodeon star in her first ever horror movie (I’m assuming). It’s a pretty tight cast with only 8 members on screen, which is an interesting take for a creature horror movie. Continue reading

Doctor Who (What did Jacki K Watch? Day 21)

10 Years ago New Who Premiered! Thank you every day Chris and Billie! You changed my life.

Reel Thoughts of Jacki K, Jacki Krumnow, Jacqueline Krumnow

Ninth and Rose Ninth and Rose

Wow, so, it’s been longer than a week since I have written a blog, but I swear it’s for good reason. I went on that camping trip, then to Cedar Point, and began a new job. SO it’s been a busy week and a half. I haven’t really watched anything new lately, but I did rewatch the first series of Doctor Who to get my younger cousin introduced to the fandom. So today’s post will be about beginning the fanatical, phonomenal Doctor Who franchise again.

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Wolf Creek 2

wolf creekSo last night my remote decided I wanted to watch 2013’s Wolf Creek 2. I was like:

Sure why not,  it may or may not be torture porn but like, it has 2 stars,  I’ve watched horror movies with a lower recommendation than that.

Now I’ll admit,  I’m not the biggest fan of the torture porn genre of horror.  It’s by far the lowest point of the genres,  but it takes a lot of balls and creativity to come up with some of the ways the killer massacres their victims. That is one point I’ll always give ’em. I also have not watched the original Wolf Creek from shit, was it 2005? I’m writing this on the mobile app,  tough to check that shit. Continue reading

Grabbers (2012)

grabbersGrabbers is a creature film that takes place in an island off the coast of Ireland and focuses around the whole town getting shit-faced to survive. Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone.

To celebrate, I tried finding the most Irish movie on Netflix to watch (aside from the Leprechaun, because fuck that shit). With the help of Kris Holt, I decided on Jon Wright‘s Grabbers. The beginning of the film shows a bright, burning light falling down to the ocean surrounding the wee town. So it’s bit of a cross between creature and alien film but without the scares.  Continue reading

Pulp Fiction, 20 years later

Poster of Pulp Fiction 

20 Reasons why Pulp Fiction still Rocks 20 years later

1 & 2.) Pumpkin and Honey Bunny- two madly in love sociopaths looking to make a buck and get their rocks off. Only months after the world is introduced to Micky and Mallory Knox from Natural Born Killers we get two minor characters that set the chaotic tone of the entire Anachronic film.

3.) The Soundtrack – Not only is Quentin Tarantino known for his non-chronological director technique, but also his massive hard on for classic songs the majority of the population hasn’t thought about in years. Continue reading

The Graduate (Day 11 of 100)

Poster

Skipping around a bit here, and writing reviews for film’s I have already seen, since I have fallen so far behind in my 100ish Days of Summer. Number 90 on my list is the 1967 coming of age film The Graduate starring Dustin Hoffman, who, the lucky dog, has already appeared on this list two other times, once for All The President’s Men and another time for Rain Mann, and I am sure he will be appearing again later.

I watched The Graduate for the first time at what might have been the perfect age to see the film, I believe I was a Junior in college and well on my way of not knowing what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. A seemingly silly, but difficult impasse that every college student faces, the same as Dustin Hoffman‘s character Ben Braddock, a recent college graduate, home for the summer. Bored and complacent, and lacking a sense of direction, Ben begins to “accidentally” have an affair with his soon to be girlfriend’s mother, the elusive Mrs. Robinson (notice the “Mrs.” she is married at this time). Although the film has no real driving plot and the characters themselves seem listless and underwritten, the film has been selected for preservation because of its “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significance.”  Some people may believe that this film should be watched by everyone at least once, but at the age of this twenty-something-year old, it is a bit lost on me. Maybe with more age, I would appreciate why this film is considered one of the greats, but as a product of the 90s and the new millennium, the time, acting, and writing, is mostly lost on me. 

It was by no means enjoyable to watch, but I appreciated what the 106 minute film set out to do and why it is considered great, but the only the thing I really took away from The Graduate was the amazing Simon and Garfunkle song that is still popular today, and that ending scene. I suppose, that currently, in my eyes, Dustin Hoffman is 1 for 3 in films on the top 100 list and whether the films deserves the spot.